MOVED!
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Kathleen
111291
Cedar Girls'
NCC/Delta'07
SAJC
Canoeing
more than words
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Some words on cardboard, your picture in my hand.
I'm supposed to complete my op script. Pw sucks people's blood.
Thursday was swimming. Made me sneeze like crazy and I had to blow my nose all the time. Optional on Friday was one of the most relaxing one ever. Everyone was so happy, just the few of us, no stress, no pressure, nothing, just practising our strokes and trying not to capsize in the school's boat. Training on Saturday was horrible. Don't know what I was doing I couldn't paddle properly, standard dropped into a bottomless pit. Dragonboats and motorboats created waves. Damn. Irritating. I was quite pissed off. I could see that some of the rest were, too. Abrasion wasn't that bad. Towards the end my legs felt wobbly and I thought I was going to pass out. One of the longest water trainings, it felt like forever.
I'm supposed to complete my op script. Pw sucks people's blood.
Thursday was swimming. Made me sneeze like crazy and I had to blow my nose all the time. Optional on Friday was one of the most relaxing one ever. Everyone was so happy, just the few of us, no stress, no pressure, nothing, just practising our strokes and trying not to capsize in the school's boat. Training on Saturday was horrible. Don't know what I was doing I couldn't paddle properly, standard dropped into a bottomless pit. Dragonboats and motorboats created waves. Damn. Irritating. I was quite pissed off. I could see that some of the rest were, too. Abrasion wasn't that bad. Towards the end my legs felt wobbly and I thought I was going to pass out. One of the longest water trainings, it felt like forever.
Did I mention that coach has two cats and we played with one! I was quite scared initially but it's soooo cute I couldn't resist the temptation to touch it! I want a cat toooooo! It's so cuteeeee. I think it's nice to have a pet dog or cat, and that is if you are ready to take care of it.
Looked for w after training! (: It was a sudden decision haha. Went to eat dinner, wonder if I'll ever get sick of YTF haha. Sleptover! Watched A Lot Like Love. Sunday morning saw us watching the chipmunks dvd and Titanic! Fell asleep in the afternoon while watching Fantastic 4 hahaha. We wanted to watch movie (again) at night but there wasn't any nice showtime so yeah didn't. I love spending time with you. (: Poor girl still sick. ):
I want to switch to livejournal. But I'm lazy. It's halfway one so I shall get help from w or someone else soon haha.
I don't feel like going to school. This week is all about pw, again. Whoever created this pw shit.
I still have books which I have yet to read. I want to take a long break. If there's one thing that is impossible, this is it. It's not like I'm working very hard now but I just want a break. A break from school, trainings, all things stressful and all things I hate. I'm trying to not hate anything because you've got to love it to do well for it, in it, whatever. I think it's either I'm aimless or I aim too high.
I think I'll be so tired and sleepy in school later, just look at the time.
'Cause with you I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up.
Friday, October 17, 2008
If you didn't notice you mean everything.
Hello, I'm having pw now but I'm not really doing anything. I don't know what the rest are doing. They look like they're doing work and so do I. The only difference is I think they are really doing work but I am not. Haha I look so busy typing but actually I'm not doing pw I'm blogging instead!
I'm promoted! Borderline. I didn't really feel happy, just kind of relieved. I didn't study hard at all for promos I think, because I thought of going poly so yeah. Never felt so unprepared for any exam in my entire life. Math is my one and only subject which helped pull up my rank points. I practically failed everything because I see S everywhere overall except for Math and GP.
Watched Nights In Rodanthe with w yesterday! (: I think it's a touching movie.
All I have to say is, I'm trying and I really am.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
"Sometimes I feel like I've lost myself."
I don't know if it's because end of the year is nearing, not so many lessons anymore, promos are way over, or whatever it is, I think my attitude towards everything, esp. my studies, has changed. For the worse. I realised I've lost the drive and I'm not in the mood for school. And having said that, it just proves how apathetic I am towards school. Not in the mood. I don't know what's becoming of me, or maybe it's just a phase that will pass like all others do. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for having such a mindset.
Sometimes I wonder if it's the jc system that I detest or is it just sa alone. I skipped school on Friday, first time in my life please I think, and now I don't even know how to go about writing the parent's letter that my ct wants because I have no experience haha.
"& then I wonder what's happened to those days? Cast your insecurities aside and laugh and play and have all the fun in the world there is to have."
I think the problem lies with me. I am so freaking paranoid, insecure, whathaveyou that it irritates me a hell lot. I can't do this, I can't stop thinking about it. Thoughts just keep flowing, images keep appearing, imagination ran wild.
Sarahj I think you make so much sense. And I know exactly how you feel. I'm quite surprised by how you know who I was referring to. I miss talking to you!
"Sometimes I don't know who I am, sometimes I don't know who you are, sometimes I don't know what's happening. Most times I really just don't know, you know? But then you can't know everything can you?"
I'm so afraid of losing everything that I have.
I don't know if it's because end of the year is nearing, not so many lessons anymore, promos are way over, or whatever it is, I think my attitude towards everything, esp. my studies, has changed. For the worse. I realised I've lost the drive and I'm not in the mood for school. And having said that, it just proves how apathetic I am towards school. Not in the mood. I don't know what's becoming of me, or maybe it's just a phase that will pass like all others do. I feel utterly ashamed of myself for having such a mindset.
Sometimes I wonder if it's the jc system that I detest or is it just sa alone. I skipped school on Friday, first time in my life please I think, and now I don't even know how to go about writing the parent's letter that my ct wants because I have no experience haha.
"& then I wonder what's happened to those days? Cast your insecurities aside and laugh and play and have all the fun in the world there is to have."
I think the problem lies with me. I am so freaking paranoid, insecure, whathaveyou that it irritates me a hell lot. I can't do this, I can't stop thinking about it. Thoughts just keep flowing, images keep appearing, imagination ran wild.
Sarahj I think you make so much sense. And I know exactly how you feel. I'm quite surprised by how you know who I was referring to. I miss talking to you!
"Sometimes I don't know who I am, sometimes I don't know who you are, sometimes I don't know what's happening. Most times I really just don't know, you know? But then you can't know everything can you?"
I'm so afraid of losing everything that I have.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
I drift to you, you're all I hear.
Going back for water training made me realise how weak I am. It took quite a while for me to get used to the body rotation and paddling again. I couldn't really feel the twisting of my torso on Saturday but optional this morning gave me the time to practise so yeah. Nelo's much more stable than the school's k1. I capsized once just now aye so gross. And the Nelo looked like it was going to sink anytime I was so scared and anyway it sank eventually when I reached the shore.
My body's itching all over I think it's because of the sun, I think I'm a little burnt, my neck hurts. I'm trying not to scratch but I can't help it very itchyyyyy. ): I'm happy though, I'm getting back my tan hahaha yesssss.
I think I'm gradually losing my sense of direction. I don't know the purpose of the things that I do, I have no idea where I'm going from here. It's like I'm on a treadmill, I keep moving but eventually I find myself on the same spot. Kind of suck.
Natalie's removing her braces on Thursday! Miss you nattttt let's meet up soon (I keep saying this) and we can talk about many many things and have fun with pltmates without a care in the world!
Today's Christina&Biao's second year anniversary I'm so happy for them! (:
I think I should learn how to control my thoughts. I should stop having such thoughts that will swallow me eventually. I should stop looking at things which will lead me to such thoughts. It makes me so upset and I can't do anything about it. I can't. It makes me doubt everything time and time again as much as I don't want to. It's damn stupid stupid stupid I know. I don't know how long I can take this. I try so freaking hard to get you out of head.
It's funny isn't it, I don't know you but the image of you is haunting me.
Going back for water training made me realise how weak I am. It took quite a while for me to get used to the body rotation and paddling again. I couldn't really feel the twisting of my torso on Saturday but optional this morning gave me the time to practise so yeah. Nelo's much more stable than the school's k1. I capsized once just now aye so gross. And the Nelo looked like it was going to sink anytime I was so scared and anyway it sank eventually when I reached the shore.
My body's itching all over I think it's because of the sun, I think I'm a little burnt, my neck hurts. I'm trying not to scratch but I can't help it very itchyyyyy. ): I'm happy though, I'm getting back my tan hahaha yesssss.
I think I'm gradually losing my sense of direction. I don't know the purpose of the things that I do, I have no idea where I'm going from here. It's like I'm on a treadmill, I keep moving but eventually I find myself on the same spot. Kind of suck.
Natalie's removing her braces on Thursday! Miss you nattttt let's meet up soon (I keep saying this) and we can talk about many many things and have fun with pltmates without a care in the world!
Today's Christina&Biao's second year anniversary I'm so happy for them! (:
I think I should learn how to control my thoughts. I should stop having such thoughts that will swallow me eventually. I should stop looking at things which will lead me to such thoughts. It makes me so upset and I can't do anything about it. I can't. It makes me doubt everything time and time again as much as I don't want to. It's damn stupid stupid stupid I know. I don't know how long I can take this. I try so freaking hard to get you out of head.
It's funny isn't it, I don't know you but the image of you is haunting me.
Anyway caught Eagle Eye and The Smilers with w. (: I think maybe I was too tired because I fell asleep at some point of time during each movie haha. I still think that the picture is sooo cute hahahaha. I like seeing you everyday (:
Love remains the same.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Ignorance could still be bliss.
I think I like to make things difficult for myself sometimes.
I think I like to make things difficult for myself sometimes.
So far I had two dreams about her even though I don't know her personally. The first wasn't very pleasant and I can't recall much. The second time, we were good friends I think. Tell me about trust. Either I'm taking too long or I can't. All the time I feel like I'm being compared with her, be it directly or indirectly and I really, really hate it you know that? It makes me so freaking self-conscious now and it makes me think that I'm not good enough, which is probably true anyway.
I never knew that this could hurt so much.
I think I'm a highly insecure freak.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Can we bring yesterday back around?
After dental today (I think my dentist should be more gentle with my mouth) I went for 4C gathering with Ms Begum! (: Finally got to see the people I miss after gazillion years. I think about half came. We went pizza hut! Caught up with each other. We still miss the good old cedar days.
After dental today (I think my dentist should be more gentle with my mouth) I went for 4C gathering with Ms Begum! (: Finally got to see the people I miss after gazillion years. I think about half came. We went pizza hut! Caught up with each other. We still miss the good old cedar days.
Haha it was so funny when almost everyone complained about how tired they are, how they hate pw, etc.
GILLIAN CHOOOOOO omg I finally talked to you after soooooo long I missed you! Bet you're having fun in vj haha your blog is rotting and I doubt you will even see this. Everyone hasn't changed at all. Jiangwt is so funny haha and skinny! She lost weight! It was nice talking to yanying! I think the world's so small. And everyone's skirt is damn short. Esp Vicky omg seriously your skirt can't get any shorter no wonder you keep getting caught HAHA.
I think it's such a nice picture, everyone looks so happy (:
Even though promos are over and there are currently no proper lessons, I feel quite worn out. I feel so tired. I feel scared and worried for everything that's happening right now and whatever that's going to happen in future and I don't know what's wrong with me I think I sound so pessimistic I hate it. Whatever happened to my optimistic self few months ago.
Shahini: So how's school?
Vicky & I, simultaneously: Sucks!